“Be Yourself.  Everyone else is taken.”

This quote, often attributed to Oscar Wilde, is one that is familiar to many people. Good advice? Probably. But what does it mean, to be yourself?

Or perhaps we should begin by asking, why is this advice given? Why is it necessary? How can a person be anything but themselves?

My guess is that this advice is most often given to a person facing a situation where they are keen to impress and are not quite sure how to achieve it. ‘Just be yourself’ is often offered to someone going for a job interview, a performance appraisal or a first date. It’s when we feel open to the judgement of others that we are most likely to judge ourselves and to be cautious in how we present ourselves.

In addition, if there’s something at stake, a new job, a pay rise or a new relationship, that caution can increase. Most people are familiar with that creeping self-doubt in certain situations.

Should I say what I really think? Will they laugh at me? Will they despise me? Will they think I’m wrong/stupid/arrogant? In those moments there is always the temptation to say what you think the other person wants you to say.

Which can get you into trouble just as surely as expressing your real opinion can.

If you say what someone wants to hear in a job interview, you can end up working for an organisation that has values and culture that don’t fit well with your own. That’s a recipe for stress – trust me, I’ve done it!

If you say what someone wants to hear in a social situation, you can end up with ongoing embarrassment and awkwardness. “How lovely, my favourites!” you say when given a box of chocolates by a new neighbour, your partner’s mum or a dinner guest. Even though they’re a type of chocolate you don’t like and you never buy. Three years later that same variety of chocolates is your gift every birthday – “I know they’re your favourite” says the happy gift-giver as you mumble thanks, knowing it’s your own fault and feeling helpless to correct the lie. (Or is that just me?)

Would it have helped, to just ‘be yourself?’

Of course, there is another type of ‘not being yourself’. That’s when you feel unsure about the acceptability of your views or plan of action and decline to express a point of view at all.

I’m fairly sure that was what cost me a place at Cambridge University. The interview was going well until I was asked why I had chosen that subject. I knew why I’d chosen it, but I was worried that if I told the truth they’d laugh at me (I was only 16 years old!). I thought there had to be a better reason but I couldn’t think what it would be, so I said I didn’t know.

Had I had the confidence to share what was motivating me, I think the interviewers might have been convinced that I’d stick at it. Without that, they weren’t going to take a chance on me. That’s what I think now, many years later.

Where does that get us?

There is potentially a cost associated with ‘being yourself’ and an equivalent cost associated with NOT ‘being yourself’.

The potential cost of being yourself is that others may judge you negatively. They may be offended by your views or they may laugh at you.

The potential cost of not ‘being yourself’ is that you give a false impression of who you are and miss out on opportunities that you would value or people whose company you would enjoy.

Let’s return to that question – what does it mean to ‘be yourself’?

I think that being yourself means living your life and interacting with others in a way that fulfils your personal values. If it matters to you not to hurt someone else’s feelings, then sometimes that might include falling back on social conventions and keeping your thoughts to yourself.

I think being yourself is easy when you spend time in situations and with other people who support your opinions and values. If you feel out of step with other people around you it can be stressful and uncomfortable. Being yourself might mean acknowledging that and removing yourself from the situation – whether it’s a job in a company with a toxic culture or a social group that’s caught up in an activity you dislike.

I think being yourself is also about not apologising for your choices and for what matters to you. There might be a moment of awkwardness when you tell someone that you don’t share their passion for snowboarding/Chekov/fine dining/the Rolling Stones, but it will pass. And if that other person doesn’t respect your point of view, maybe they’re not someone you want to spend much time with anyway.

In my view, being yourself isn’t something you can turn on and off. It’s a process of self-awareness, self-acceptance and developing the skills to express yourself in alignment with your personal values.

What do you think?

What have you done in the way of personal or professional development in the past two years? Unless you’re in charge of your own budget and you’ve been motivated to learn, the answer to that question might be ‘not very much’.

Most organisations have been principally focused on coping with each fresh wave of change during the pandemic. Energy has gone into figuring out how people can work at home, who can’t work at home, how to serve customers who are working at home, how to manage a drop in income and much more. In most cases, it’s been simply a matter of staying afloat – improving skills and effectiveness has not been top of the agenda.

As a result, lots of companies have a backlog of development activities to tackle. Whether that’s in-depth onboarding of new workers, training in how to operate as a team in virtual environments or leadership skills for those with the unenviable task of navigating this ‘new normal’, it’s mostly been put on hold. Some have focused on the skills needed to operate in a virtual world or how to manage the stress of lockdown. Others are bravely tackling the challenge of translating traditional training programmes into e-learning experiences or ‘live on-line’ learning. Who’s to say which is the right approach?

And why does it matter? In the year of ‘the Great Resignation’ do you really want to be investing in staff who might resign tomorrow? Well, yes, probably. Because the opportunity to learn new skills and make progress in a career might be one of the reasons your people decide to stay.

Where is your company in relation to developing people? I suggest there are five levels of operation here. Check out the levels and plot your organisation’s location and the extent of the backlog of development activities.

 

Level One

At Level One we find the companies that didn’t invest in the development of their people before the pandemic. They haven’t invested during the pandemic and they’re probably not going to invest in developing people any time in the future either. You can’t really say there is a backlog of development activities, because the norm here is to do nothing.

Companies with this attitude are a bit like passengers on the Titanic – oblivious to the dangers ahead and to their responsibilities to others. If you work for one of these organisations, you need a Plan B.

 

Level Two

At Level Two we find the companies that realised they couldn’t carry on with the development activities they used to rely on prior to the pandemic. So, they stopped everything. They don’t want to invest in new technology or new methods until they’re sure it’s really necessary. They also don’t want to train staff they might have to lose later. They will do some development, they’re just not sure what. Or when.  Or for whom.

For now, they’re not doing any development activities. They may even have lost the L&D professionals they used to rely on. There is a clear backlog of development activities and it’s probably hampering the progress of talented staff and undermining the HR strategy.

To carry on the Titanic metaphor, companies at this level are like the crew member who see the iceberg from afar and hopes it won’t hit them…

 

Level Three

At Level Three are the companies where there is some development going on. People are grabbing at whatever learning they can get, to help cope with their current problems. This might mean individuals are looking up advice on YouTube, swapping self-help books and consulting their friends and network. Occasionally someone might put together a group event. It’s keeping them going, but it’s no long-term strategy. In fact, it’s more like a shipwreck! It’s every person for themselves and there’s no shared plan or vision. As long as we get through the day…

Strategic plans for talent development and succession planning have sunk without trace. People are simultaneously bored with their work and fighting for their jobs. There is a backlog of training to be conducted and a dearth of clear needs analysis. Senior leaders may be working at home, secure in the illusion that everyone else is as comfortable as they are.

 

Level Four

At Level Four, we have the semblance of a development plan. It may include hastily-adapted versions of established training programmes being run online. It may rely too much on a small number of trainers and coaches to figure out how to make it all happen, but there’s learning going on and it’s relevant to the needs, not just of the individual but also the business as a whole.

Also at this level, we might find that the plan being followed hasn’t fully embraced the new reality in which we’re all working. It might have a few gaps or some determined hanging on to old ideas. There may be people who aren’t fully engaged with the goals being pursued. You may even see a bit of concerted effort to pull back and think again.

There is a backlog of training to be delivered and possibly also a backlog in terms of strategic thinking about development and no clear plan for the future.

This is a bit like being in the lifeboat. You’re still breathing, you’re even heading in the right direction, but it’s uncomfortable and cold.

 

Level Five

At Level Five are the companies that have a people development plan that supports the business plan. They know the skills and culture they must support if they are to fulfil their mission and continue to succeed in their chosen markets. In an uncertain world, they understand the power of a shared purpose and a declared mission.

Individuals have clear development plans and are enthusiastic about the opportunity to learn and to step up to meet the challenges on the path ahead. In fact, they’re learning the skills of adapting to whatever shows up because they know that change is not only a constant factor, it’s also accelerating. There is no backlog of learning to address, just a set of development plans to carry out. Leaders are supporting their people on a journey of discovery that creates value for employees and customers alike.

These companies are cruising ‘full steam ahead’.

 

It might be immediately clear to you where your organisation is currently operating. Or you may have to study the levels and look a round you a bit. Either way, I hope this helps you figure out whether everything is ‘shipshape’ or if there’s work to be done.

If you’d like to have an exploratory call to discuss the development needs for your team (or for yourself) please get in touch.

If you ask people what makes a great leader, the chances are you’re going to get a huge variety of different answers. But there’s a word that often crops up as people talk about great leaders having charisma.

Now charisma’s quite a hard thing to define, but I’ve paid attention to this over many years now and come to a couple of conclusions. So if you want to become a better leader and you want to be a charismatic leader, stay with me…

There are still a few occupations and industries that can get through a day without needing some form of technology, but they are few and far between.

Traditionally, in large organisations, it was the Finance department that wielded all the power.  If you wanted to make something happen, you generally had to convince someone from the Finance department before you got the full mandate to proceed.

This control was fuelled by the air of mystery that shrouds Finance, for anyone who is not trained in financial matters.  You only have to mutter ‘Receivables Ledger’, ‘Accruals’ or ‘Double-entry bookkeeping’ to the uninitiated and they scurry away with their tails between their legs, apologising as they go for daring to challenge Finance.  Accountancy looks difficult – all those pages of numbers and ratios.  If maths isn’t your forte, it can be intimidating.

Of course, the activities of most companies are inextricably linked to their financial fortunes.  It’s a rare Finance Director or CFO who can keep saying ‘yes’ to every worthwhile project or investment and when someone has to say ‘no’ it’s invariably someone from Finance.

This has meant that traditionally, business has been limited and controlled by Finance.  Traditionally.

In modern organisations, the balance of power is different.  It’s not just money that enables work, it’s technology too.  Practically everything that happens in a modern organisation is powered by technology.  There are desktop computers that enable people to manage information, create documents and communicate with each other.  There are smart telephone systems that manage communication with customers.  There’s manufacturing technology, high-tech aids to research and development, websites and intelligent CRM that learns from every customer interaction.  Even the coffee machine is controlled by micro-chip.

Most business projects and investments involve technology, either the introduction of new technology or using current technology in new ways.  And although most people are fairly IT-literate in the sense of knowing how to use a pc at home and at work and maybe even have some understanding of networks, when it comes to all the clever stuff that goes on in the IT Department, a lot of people are in awe of the technology and the way that new technology can create massive changes very quickly.

This means that now, the IT Department also has power and control. Business projects are limited, not just by money, but also by tech capability.  Even if the money can be found, the technology has to be managed and it’s more and more likely that if someone has to say ‘no’ it could be someone from IT.

This creates a lot of problems.  And highlights some that were already there.

One existing problem, that in most companies is so deep-rooted that everyone just accepts it, is that – except in the smallest companies and in tech companies – the IT department is detached from the rest of the organisation.

The IT department thinks of everyone else as ‘the Business’ and doesn’t include IT in the business.  ‘The Business’ usually regards IT as a support function and dismisses them as ‘geeks and freaks’ who don’t know anything except technology.

Any dealings people in ‘the Business’ have with IT is treated like a visit to a foreign country.  They don’t speak the same language, they don’t have the same culture and they don’t like tourists very much.

It’s easy, then, for IT to become a universal whipping boy.

If something goes wrong, it’s easy to blame ‘the IT’.  Or just ‘IT’.

IT gets the blame for failures of equipment, regardless of whether it was the right equipment for the job, was being used appropriately or had been maintained correctly.

IT gets the blame for software problems and for the limitations of software that the IT Department may not have been involved in choosing.

IT gets the blame for the late delivery of projects, even though the delays may not be their fault.

IT gets the blame when anything related to technology is involved in a problem and little distinction is made between the various facets of IT.  The lack of knowledge about technology in operational departments can add to the frustration all round.  People compare business technology to their home computers and wonder why new installations take so long.  They disregard the need for cyber-security or ignore the rules of good governance.  The technology professionals are often seen as pedantic and unhelpful.

The result, in many organisations, is that technology is seen as a blocker to business success, rather than the enabler it should be.  Small wonder that the catch-phrase ‘computer says no’ touched so many people!

It’s not surprising either, that most companies have their official IT and also a proliferation of ‘shadow IT’ installations – the website built by a contact of the Marketing Director, that the IT Department can’t access, or the e-commerce package the finance team bought that doesn’t integrate seamlessly with the invoicing system.  Every CIO has examples of this. Some are better at quashing the shadow IT culture than others, but they all know it’s an indicator of their colleagues’ lack of faith in their own IT Department.

The Paradigm Shift

This disturbing and often stressful state of affairs is probably not going to go away.  It’s part of a total paradigm shift that is seeing Technology – in all its guises – move from the edge of the organisation to its centre.  And for modern business to succeed, technology must be at its heart.

This means that business strategy and activity needs to be based on solid technology and sound technical knowledge.  Technology is enabling competitive advantage in many markets, but it only delivers those benefits if the organisation is structured to facilitate the kind of interaction between departments that results in coherent, sensible plans that everyone can believe in.

Technology is moving closer and closer to the customer.  IT was traditionally a ‘back office’ function and IT professionals rarely had to meet or impress customers.  Now, technology might provide the principal way that a customer interacts with an organisation.  Banking is an obvious example.  It doesn’t mean that all tech experts are spending their days with customers, but it does mean that they need a greater understanding of customers and can have a huge impact on the relationship between the company and its target market.

When an organisation looks for innovation, it looks first to technology.  CIOs are being tasked with driving innovation and change as well as supplying the right technology.  There is pressure on IT departments to deliver innovative solutions and to do so at a pace that will leave the competition standing.  Some thrive on the challenge, some do not.

It’s clear that, instead of being a ‘support service’ like HR, Purchasing or Legal, IT now has a different place in the modern organisation.  IT has become an operational department, it pervades everything, it drives progress (or not!) and supports Business As Usual.  Quite simply, most companies can’t do without it.

Most companies are dependent on technology for their success.

Which means that those companies are dependent on the people who control the technology.

And this is where – for me – it gets really interesting…

Next time, I’ll share with you my analysis of the personality types you find in IT and what that means for all of the non-techie business leaders who rely on them.

There are common themes and questions about leadership development that affect businesses in all industry sectors. These can be general principles, such as the endless debate about how to evaluate ‘soft skills’ training and demonstrate its value in terms of measurable return on investment (that’s one for another day) or they can be issues about the development of particular professions or target audiences.

The one that always engages me the most is the development of Directors and Senior Managers. Traditionally, this is a section of most organisations where development is dominated by commercially-focused business school programmes and limited by the busy schedules of the target audience.

It’s rare to include Directors or Senior Managers in personal development programmes, partly because there is an assumption that they must be confident, positive and goal-focused already, or else they wouldn’t have achieved a Senior Management position! Sometimes it’s also partly because it is feared that the presence of a Senior Manager on a personal development programme will inhibit the participation of more junior colleagues. Either way, the net result is that Directors and Senior Managers are encouraged to work on their business skills rather than their life skills.

Maybe a change of attitude would be beneficial here. A question I’ve been asked – in various forms – on numerous occasions is, ‘How do we deliver another increase in profit this year when we’ve solved all the obvious problems, upgraded our systems and everything seems to be running smoothly? How do we keep on delivering improvements?’ There are many people skilled in the arts of continuous improvement who would have a ready answer to that question and I would bow to their superior knowledge of those techniques. I would also offer a rather different answer: Leadership development.

People don’t leave jobs – they leave bosses

A well-known study conducted by the Centre for Creative Leadership found (amongst other things) that when a person leaves their job more often than not it’s because they are unhappy with their boss. To put it another way, people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses. The reason a person leaves a boss is often because that boss lacks the leadership skill to engage the person with the task or simply lacks the interpersonal skills to communicate effectively. This results in staff lacking motivation for the task, failing to appreciate its importance or feeling that they themselves are not valued.

Now, you may be thinking that this is a problem that only really applies at junior and middle management levels. Surely the people who achieve senior positions must have good leadership skills, good interpersonal skills and the ability to communicate effectively? I think it’s a reasonable assumption that Senior Managers, in general, have more of those kinds of skills than their junior colleagues. I think it’s also true that they need a far greater level of leadership ability because of the positions they hold. A level of skill that many of them have not had an opportunity to develop.

So the next question is, ‘How do we develop leadership skills at the top of the organisation?’ Most Directors and Senior Managers would, quite rightly, be a bit offended if you suggested they attend the same leadership training as that offered to people taking up a leadership role for the first time. They probably did that training, or something like it, years ago and have put into practice as much as was useful to them on the way up the organisation. At that level, at lot of training is focused on behaviour and skills that have been shown to be effective in team leadership and influence.

Our senior people need more than that. They need something that makes the difference between a good senior manager and truly inspirational leader.

Inspirational leadership

It would be easy to say that some things are God-given and leadership ability is one of them. But being an NLP Trainer and therefore an advocate of modelling excellence I would have to disagree. My own observation and research into leadership suggests that the best leaders, the ones we would follow to the ends of the earth (metaphorically speaking), are the ones who have personal congruence. That’s a bit of NLP jargon that simply means they are whole-hearted about what they’re doing. No doubts, no misgivings, no secondary agenda and therefore no mixed messages, no lack of enthusiasm, just a clear direction that they obviously totally believe in. This is at the heart of what is often labelled ‘charisma’. That rare quality that makes you want to listen what someone says, makes you want to follow their lead, makes you want to work with them. Charisma is often cited as a quality of great leaders. And having arrived at this conclusion some people will heave a sigh of relief and say ‘you can’t teach people charisma’, therefore you can’t teach them to be great leaders.

No, you can’t teach charisma, because you can’t teach personal congruence, but a person who addresses their doubts, misgivings and internal conflicts can achieve personal congruence and so achieve that elusive leadership quality that will make them stand out from the crowd and inspire others to follow their lead. The route to personal congruence is personal development. If you want to be a better leader, work on yourself.

The reason this is so important with senior people in organisations is that they can influence so many people, for good or ill. They are very visible and any tiny mistake they make has the potential to affect behaviour, attitudes, mood and morale. If they’re not sure about a course of action, no-one will follow their lead. If they talk about the corporate vision and their body language suggests that they thinks it’s unrealistic, people will see their hesitation rather than the vision.

Think about it. If I’m a Director of a company and I’ve never quite persuaded myself that I’m a good public speaker that could mean that every time I have to present to the company conference I appear unconvinced and unconvincing. A lost opportunity to influence the whole organisation. Suppose I’m a Senior Manager and I dislike ‘small talk’. It could mean that I avoid social gatherings with staff and never get involved in general chatter. People might think that I’m not interested in them, that I don’t value them and therefore will be reluctant to give their best. What if I’m the MD and I have a bad temper that I keep under control most of the time, but occasionally…

I could go on, I’ve met a lot of these people and few of them are perfect. Sadly, their unforgiving employees expect them to be perfect. Flaws in senior people can translate into flaws in the performance of their staff.

Now for the good news. A leader who works on themselves and addresses the causes of those incongruences will quite quickly experience the benefits. Quite small, quite subtle changes in the behaviour of one person can spark changes in the behaviour of many others. Quite small, quite subtle changes in the behaviour of a Senior Manager or Director can create confidence in the minds of their staff. That confidence can translate into improved performance.

At a time when many industry sectors are facing a future where the only source of sustainable competitive advantage is in people and their skills, isn’t it time that the most senior of those people are encouraged to invest in themselves and develop their abilities to engage, to inspire and to lead?